Practise. I think that was what Joko Beck called sitting. Practise at mindfulness, practise at detachment, practise paying attention—yeah, I could use more practise at all of these things.

Anyway, I kinda get why you’re a Buddhist, but I kinda don’t, either. Maybe this is one of those cases wherein you have to do it to know why you’re doing it—and thus not doing it is not knowing why you would do it.

No, I’m not trying to be cute. I have certainly been interested in Buddhism in the past, but I couldn’t sustain it. Perhaps the short-circuit was due to my difficulties with sitting, but that seems only part of the reason; the other part almost certainly was asking Why am I doing this, again? (Hence the whole you-have-to-be-there comment, above.)

One, last, scatter-shot: The importance of resignation. You said you were only able to get through your depression once you let it be. Now, resignation isn’t the same as ‘letting be’ (although I think they’re at least cousins), but giving up can be incredibly liberating.

I gave up on my parents. I remember the moment when I did so, over twenty years ago, and how, amidst yet another crushing of emotions, I gained a bit of breath.

I’ve never regretted giving up on them. I also don’t think I’d have any kind of relationship with them today had I not done so.

Anyway, I look forward to your explanation of why zen over other forms of Buddhism. . . .