Start here

fernspiral by Robert Red2000I’ve had plantar fasciitis for almost a year now, a painful inflammation of the sole of the foot, plus a heel spur that has me limping and screws up my ankle and knee joints. I can’t walk everywhere, like I used to, can’t get any kind of exercise that involves putting weight on my feet. It’s been hard. I’ve gained weight, and lost some ground with my fitness level.

I’m starting a new program this week to try and get back in shape. I want to do yoga, pilates, or some other kind of exercise every day. I’m also doing a raw food cleanse.

I’ve done some yoga or pilates in recent weeks, but going for more than a few days without keeping it up now means that I lose almost everything I’d gained, so it feels like I’m starting over. I guess this is part of what happens when you hit 40. It’s going to take some time to get back to where I was. I don’t know that I’ll be able to improve past that, but I’m going to try.

In pain and feeling crappy, I’ve started with some easy yoga routines. I’ve never been a super-athlete, but I’ve been better than this. It kills me to struggle with a simple forward bend, when I used to be able to stand on my head.

But I remind myself: the point of yoga is to deal with my body where it is in that moment. The point is not to get somewhere; the point is to be where I am. That’s where I start. That’s where I have to start. If I try to start where I  want to end up, I will hurt myself or get frustrated, and simply fail.

The trick is, while knowing that there’s a goal I’m working towards, to forget that and focus on what I’m doing right now. Ease into that forward bend, to the place I can reach today. Feel the sensation and breathe. Come back to the mat tomorrow.

This is true for everything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish.

Meanwhile, here’s a recipe for a delicious, vegan, mostly-raw salad dressing that I think tastes better than Caesar.

2 Responses to “Start here”

  1. absurdbeats Says:

    I took up throwing pots when I was at dissertation stage. Why not, I thought: I’m always in my head; do me good to do something with my hands.

    Damned near had a breakdown. I took a class (of course: I knew how to be a student), and went at it. And failed. And failed and failed and failed.

    After one session of trying—and failing—to center the clay on the wheel, I almost cried. (Okay, I did tear up, but tried reallllllly hard to hide it.)

    And then it hit me. I was ABD in my field, but a kindergartner when it came to pottery. I took a breath, took many breaths, and let it go.

    Slowly, slowly, I learned. The clay would do what it would do. Let it go, and come back.

    Yes, set the goal, and let the goal go. And keep coming back.

  2. Shanghai Slim Says:

    How about Pole Dancing?

    Not so much weight on the feet.

    And besides, you’ve always been interested in anything related to Poland.

    Sending a bear hug your way from Shanghai …

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