Archive for the ‘language’ Category

On the word “douchebag”

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Tucker MaxPeople have been calling for the retirement of this word for well over a year now, to no avail. I love it because it’s fun to say and reminds me of my East Coast childhood, when we used it all the time (without having any idea what it really meant). Plus, it fills the gap nicely between “slightly annoying guy” and “total asshole”.

However, I’ve read various comments around the internet about how the term douchebag is sexist, because it’s used to degrade a man by referring to him as an object used only by women.

As Dan Savage pointed out in a recent podcast (number 154), anyone interested in receiving anal penetration with a minimum of santorum uses them for enemas, though I suppose in that case the term would be enema bag. Not a bad pejorative in itself, now that I think of it, being non-gendered and associated with unwanted poo. It’s not as satisfying to say, though.

But my argument is different. I haven’t seen anyone else point this out, so I will gallantly step up:

The vagina is self-cleaning and self-regulating. Douching is not only unnecessary to the health of the vagina, it can in fact throw off its natural floral balance, and also interferes with the vagina’s ability to keep its delicate tissue moist and happy. Douching is also completely ineffective in the prevention of pregnancy and disease, two other bullshit reasons women used to be told we need to douche.

Thus, a douchebag is a guy who is unnecessary, useless, and possibly harmful to women. Therefore it’s quite appropriate to say, for example, that Tucker Max is a douchebag.

The seventh inning stretch

Monday, February 16th, 2009
Aren't they just a little bit bored?

Aren't they just a little bit bored?

Recently I found out that between the two halves of the seventh inning of a baseball game, everything stops, and the whole crowd gets up and stretches, and they play “Take me out to the ball game” and other traditional songs.

I know you already knew this, because apparently just about everyone but me does. I had heard of the seventh inning stretch, but I honestly thought it was called that because that’s about the time when everyone started to get bored, so it seemed like it went on forever. The seventh inning stretch.

I somehow managed to miss learning this information despite having lived half a lifetime in the country whose national pastime baseball, supposedly, is. Okay, so I’m not into team sports, and my friends tend to be readers, not sports fans.

Still, though. I’m educated, well read, and (I thought) pretty well informed. How does that happen?

And what else don’t I know?